Our Customer’s Limericks so far!



If you’re longing for tea with a TANG – O!
I’ll tell you the best place you CAN GO!
To Ashford in Kent
Is where you’ll be sent
To partake of their taste busting MANGO!
Cynthia Davidson

When icicles hang by the wall
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
When blood is nipped and ways be foul,
And roasted coffee hiss in the bowl,
Nice to come home
Ion Shilobreev

There was a young lady from Ticehurst
Who suddenly developed a thirst
She thought long and hard
Her mind was made up
Tea or coffee from Pluckley, in a large cup
Jane Paget

There’s always a moment for me
When it gets to half-past three
I’m in need of a drink
And after a think
I end up with much-needed tea!
Caroline Frimston

I have a fondness for coffee
A latte fills me with glee
Add in some cake
And for goodness sake
Make it a big slice for me!
Caroline Frimston

The problem with writing limericks, you see,
Is finding rhymes for different kinds of tea.
It doesn’t take too long
To find a rhyme for ‘oolong’
But ‘Sunda Purwa’ is quite beyond me!
Cat Palmer

In a morning i need my brew,
it wakes me up, thats so true,
the steaming mug,
a extra large glug,
It keeps me going the whole day through.
Hayley Marie

There once was a man with a kettle
Whose stomach was struggling to settle
But he drank some more tea
From the Kent company
And now he’s in jolly fine fettle!
Barry Page

There was a young lady called Dee,
who enjoyed the odd cup of tea,
when asked what was her fave,
she replied with a wave,
the tea and coffee company.
Babs Daniels

There once was a lady called Karen
Doc told her she was barren
After drinking endless cups of tea
Out pops a ba-by
Her little baby girl Tetley
Karen Richards

The Kent and Sussex Company saved us from any confusion
By selecting each best quality tea and coffee infusion.
With effort that is beyond belief
They source every great bean and leaf
So it’s time to join connoisseurs buying online in profusion.
Patricia Owen

There once was a tea leaf of green,
Who made friends with a strong coffee bean,
Their united quest
To fend off the west
Made them worthy of sating the Queen.
Donna Sunderland

There was a young boy called Jamie
Who loved to drink coffee and tea
He drank so much,
his bladder erupt
And the floor was covered in wee!
Jim Radford

There was a young lady who liked tea,
her favourite, of course, was Chun Mee,
She liked it hot,
So warmed up the pot,
A very good tip, you’ll agree
Frances Hinds

There was a young lady called Dee
Who loved to sit down with her tea
She wanted another
So called for her mother
Who added not one lump but three
Eleanor Beavan

I like coffee
I like tea,
the only problem is,
they make me want to pee.
Andrea Dimmick

There was a young man named lee
Who fell asleep while eating his tea.
‘Twould have been a sad state
had he ruined his plate
But he didn’t – he spilled his coffee
Emma Davison

Coffee must always be hot
It warms the soul And awakens the body
It fends off the sleep
Like a dragon’s Fiery breath
A drink for the gods
Claire Nutman

There once was a Laddie from Govan
Whose girlfriend was looking some lovin’
After crumpets and tea
She climbed on his knee
And now they’ve a bun in the oven
Janice Moore

There was a tea vendor from Darjeeling,
Whose prices knew no ceiling,
But after a peculiar sip,
,He started to strip,
And left his customers reeling.

So he scuttled off to Assam,
And began trading in Yam,
But tea’s no mere fashion,
He rekindled his passion,
And untangled his most sticky jam.
Zackary Dane

There once was a girl called Jazz
Who drank tea full of pizzazz
She spent the whole day
With a tea buffet
That cheered her right up from the blahs!
Jazz Blyth

There was a young tea called Chai;
who,it’s said was terribly shy;
until one day,
milk & sugar came his way,
& now he shouts ‘Give Me a Try!”
Lynne Collins

There once was a young girl from Crewe
Who had to keep running the loo
A real teapot
She drunk tea a lot
Unfortunately it just went right through!
Denise Bullen Jones

Uncertainty about where to place it.  Uncertainty is a problem:
Old Heisenberg tried to make tea
Timing the brew exquisitely
But when time to taste
It couldnt be placed
Yes Uncertainty sure is a B…
Ray Swinfield

Einstein made tea from the leaf
But wanted a speedy relief
He made it so fast
That it jumped to its past
And so ended up as the tree
Ray Swinfield

Whilst making myself a fresh brew
I decided to try something new
I added a prune
then stirred with a spoon
and then drank without further ado
Ray Swinfield

My husband likes a mug of Early Grey,
He says it’s a perfect end to the day.
I’ve tried serving coffeeee,
But he said “don’t you see,
It doesn’t help me to sleep, when I lay”
Julie Gladman

There was a young man from Dundee
Queued up for a sweet cup of tea
When he got to the front
He asked for four lumps
But was told he could only have three
Anthony White

There was a young girl from Dundee
Sat down for a nice cup of tea
When asked for her choice
She had lost her voice
So the waitress gave her Pluckley
Anthony White

There once was a man with called Lee,
Who was rather addicted to coffee,
One day his eyes started streaming,
And all of a sudden he was screaming,
“This ain’t coffee….. its Tea!”
Becca Bradley

There was a young lass from Dundee
Who liked to put milk in her tea,
But her glasses steamed up
And so into her cup,
She poured a large dollop of brie.
Laura Kilby

I love drinking my favourite Kenttea,
It’s the ultimate brand you see,
With over 500 to choose,
I simply just cannot lose,
As I know there will be one for me!!!
Sheila OConnor

T’was a young man from Leeds,
most of his day was spent tending garden weeds,
when thirsty he drank tea,
which then made him pee,
a bladder straining pain which he now heeds…
Ivor Griffiths

There once was a lady from Lee,
Whose taste ran to Earl Grey tea,
With breakfast and lunch,
TV dinners and brunch,
She whetted her whistle with tea…
Rosemary Rowe

Tea is a fabulous thing,
Assam, Oolong and Darjeeling,
They have such fancy names,
But simpler claims,
Of starting your day with a zing.
Rachel Duffin

There was a young girl who liked tea,
A sensible lass, you’ll agree,
She opened the tin,
And found some Jasmine,
“Oh my Favourite” she cried “Whoopee”
Frances Hinds

Tea came first or was it the coffee,
No one’s knows except for me,
Whichever one it was we were never told,
Even if it was hot or even freezing cold,
Is it green or is it brown just don’t know I’m left with a frown!
Debbie Burfoot

Don’t be such a dummy,
and drink something yummy,
if it’s coffee or tea,
then i’l think you’ll agree,
that it’s best if it’s from the kent-&sussex company!
Emma-Lou Angel Sterry

There was a company called Feefo
Gave a GOLD to the Kent Tea Co
Let’s all drink to that

Give a pat on the back
And help them get three in a row
Anthony Edward White

Traditional or exotic fragranced tea?
Ground or roasted coffee beans?
The tea flavours are divine,

The coffee pure and refined,
Molten toffee or a cup of rosie lee??
Erika Matthews

For a perfectly well made brew
Choose the Kent & Sussex crew
To add milk is a sin

Leave sugar in the tin
So sit back, relax and review.

And if the thought of waiting
Proves more than merely grating
Taking time to savour
Releases the flavour
For a 10 out of 10 rating.
Zackary Dane

A Parisian marooned in Peru
Concocted a restorative brew.
He said ‘it’s green tea’
But (between you and me)
The flavour of absinthe came through.
Rob Stickland

There was a young woman from Kent,
who drank tea wherever she went,
she thought it was funny,
coz she had no money,
she’d rather buy tea than pay rent!
Victoria Young

There was a young man who was concealing,
A wonderful cup of darjeeling,
He put the cup down
Turned into a clown
And now he’s started cartwheeling.
Charlotte Arnott

The best part of the day is my cup of tea.
It doesn’t mater black or green.
A drop of honey makes it even better,
just like hear the wistle from the kettle.
The best tea comes from Kent,
make shure you order gunpowder organic blend
Judit Zsuzsanna Lecky

There was a young lady from Tralee
Who enjoyed a cup of coffee or tea
She put all to the test
Cream Earl Grey was the best
from The Kent & Sussex Tea and Coffee Company!
Lindsey Clarke

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